SG1 Go a Plunderin'
by Zork the Unbearable
Summary: In tribute to International Talk Like A Pirate Day Sept 19th, SG-1 go for a nice boat trip.


SG-1 go plunderin'

Ahoy! It be international talk like a pirate day, so in honor of this I've decided to write a fanfic with pirates in. Yar!

Me not be ownin SG-1 so this ain't addin' any gold to me treasure chest, a mighty fine chest it be. And I do not wish to be parted from one single piece of me gold, so don't be tryin' to plunder it, ye scurvy dogs.

Yaaaauuuuuuuuuggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!

(Carter's Office)

'Yo ho matey, we be going on a boat trip!'

'Why a boat trip, sir?'

'Because Carter, we need a holiday and T and I know you and Daniel never take real vacations.'

'But sir I have to reverse the polarity of this device, and then I have to recalibrate something for Siler.'

'Ah ah ah, you're coming.'

'But Sir'

'No I don't want to hear it.'

'Fine I'll come but don't expect me to speak any pirish'

'Pirish?'

'Right, I'll just go get ready'

(Daniel's Office)

'Come on Danny me boy, the sea calls us'

'Is this going to be like fishing?'

'What's wrong with fishing?'

'Um..., nothing. So when do we go?'

(A Lake Somewhere)

'Nice hat Teal'c'

'Thank you Major Carter'

'Where's Jack?'

'He's gone to get the boat'

'Soooo where are we?'

'We appear to be next to a lake Daniel Jackson'

'Thankyou Teal'c, very informative'

'Ahoy thar me fine crew'

'Sir, do you have to speak like a pirate?'

'Aye that I must'

'Oh. Okay'

'Yar! Here comes our sturdy vessel'

'Um, Jack that's a dingy'

'She be a fine ship'

'O'Neill I do not believe we will all fit in this vessel'

'Aye, we can first mate Teal'c'

'Ah, Jack I have to agree with Teal'c'

'Yar be ye lookin for a keelhaulin?'

(Actually in the boat on the Lake)

'Jack your sitting on my leg'

'Well you're sitting on my foot'

'Sir, we tried to tell you we wouldn't fit'

'O'Neill we seem to have drifted from shore'

'Um, do we have any oars?'

'I thought there was a motor?'

'There was one earlier'

'Yar! We twere plunderin an ye motor looked mighty fine!'

'Teal'c was that you?'

'It was not'

'Sam?'

'No'

'Jack?'

'What! It wasn't me'

'Then who was it?'

'It be me!'

'And you are?'

'I be Cap'n Robert Ferdinand Applecart, Cap'n Bobferapples for short'

'And where did you come from'

'Well me whole family were pirates but we only recently move around ere, but ye can trace our blood back to England, so I guess you could say I came from thar.'

'He meant how did you get on this boat?'

'Enough of ye questions, I be commandeering ye fine vessel'

'Why this vessel? It's not all that fine'

'Actually it's started to take on water!'

'Yar I'll have t be lightenin tha load'

'And how do you suppose to do that?'

'I'll have to throw somethin' overboard. And I'll be choosing ye!'

'No, not Teal'c!'

'Aye, him'

'Teal'c he may be a truly vicious pirate but don't sacrifice yourself'

'O'Neill the water is only knee high'

'Aye, and ye feet would be getting wet, thar be no crueler fate! Yar hahaha!'

'No you can't he's wearing socks, you can't do this to him!'

'Hey, sir I just realized something'

'What Carter?'

'Well there are four of us and only one of him'

'Yes'

'Well we could over power him and throw him in the water'

'Can't we just keelhaul him?'

'Yar, ye can't do that, I bees ye Cap'n, this be mutiny!'

'One thing Bob we aren't your crew we're you prisoners!'

'Oh right, but ye still be cruel, I've been nothing but fair to ye!'

'You were going to through Teal'c into the water! With his shoes on!'

'Yar that I was but ye still be cruel'

'Yar that we be!'

'But now ye have shown us the piratin way'

'Off the plank with ye'

'Indeed ye scurvy dog'

'Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo!'

(Yar they still be in thar fine vessel)

'Yar what should we do now Cap'n Jack?'

'Yar we be off to pillage and plunder at the SGC!'

'Yar a might fortress that be!'

'But not as mighty as we pirates!'

This be the end of this story! Of how SG-1 became pirates! Be sure to speak like a pirate on September 19th! Or ye be a whoresome blaggart! No better than a bilge rat! Yar!


End file.
